This is my moving notice. I’ve combined this blog with my first one, In Other Words, because it just seemed appropriate to keep everything in one place. If you want to continue to follow this blog at its new site, just know that the posts will not all be about my trials and tribulations with my health.
It’s always a treat to discover a new blogger with whom I have so much in common. I’m happy to share one of those discoveries: Rainey Daze and Crazy Nights — Poetry, Paintings, and Ponderings: Through My Eyes.
This is sad, beautifully written and exactly how I feel. It’s a difficult feeling to put into words; doppelgänger is a perfect metaphor. Thank you for writing and sharing it, Rainey.
doppelgänger April 1, 2012
for such a long while i have deceived you
i’m not really me anymore
the doppelgänger me is sleepwalking through my days
faking a smile, completing my tasks with semi-efficiently
while i remain curled protectively around my heart
no one is the wiser and it’s been better this way
the black tide is rising and i’m growing too tired to swim
the doppelgänger me is beginning to crack
the painted smile is fading
it’s getting too hard
alice is falling through the glass
you will soon know that i am no more
and that leaves me
I’ve been struggling. Struggling with the commitment and motivation, and struggling with how to write this post.
What to say? I took this on and thought I was ready. But, something holds me back. I’ve given it a lot of thought in the past few days and I’m at a loss as to what the issue is here.
I began with the best of intentions and seemed off to a good start. I had one set back with the injury and have never gotten back on track. I’m skipping the exercise, despite some days getting up, dressed and ready to walk out the door. I’m also not eating well and have fallen into a 3:00 pm craving for something sweet. Worse yet, I’ve given into it more often than not — cookies, ice cream, or donuts (the latter of which I don’t even like).
Life goes on around me and I find plenty to keep me busy — all worthwhile pursuits. I’m not yet into watching the shopping channel or “Who’s Baby is it Anyway? (wouldn’t that be a great reality show), or even reruns of “Friends.” Nope, it’s not about TV; I’m occupying my time with “real” stuff. And, I am still working on a writing project. So, I’m not a total goner yet. But all these things, good as they may be, are a kind of work avoidance. Or health and exercise avoidance, I guess.
I’m going to post a weekly update in the stats today but then I’m going to take a break and try to figure out what’s going on because it’s just too public to have to be admitting failings at this point!
I’ve talked with a good friend, Katharine, who says she might be willing to co-author the blog, but she says she wants to write about my progress and throw in some tips and recipes and information in general. I’m not so sure about that — she’s brilliant and qualified to offer the latter, definitely, and she’s probably astute enough to offer the former as well. That’s scary. I told her I’d feel a bit like a bug under a microscope!
Meantime, until I figure this out, I’m taking my sweats and issues to a corner to ponder this some more. I may keep posting other stuff I find but I’m going to take the “personal” out of it for the time being.
For anyone else on a “get healthy” adventure, continued good luck. And, if you have any advice, feel free to jump right in.
Several years ago, as a supervisor, I was struggling with “personality differences” (the great team divider) at work. I was ready to admit defeat, crawl back into bed and pull up the covers. Permanently.
One morning before work my husband gave me a gift: a can of Whoop Ass! I have no idea what the stuff tastes like, or even if it’s actually meant for human consumption, but it made me laugh and helped me make it through the day. I took it to work that day and it sat on my bookshelf there until the day I left that job.
I still have that same can, sitting on my desk at home now. I sometimes move it to my dresser or the bathroom sink so I can see it first thing in the morning during difficult times.
I moved it to the bathroom sink last night in preparation for a healthier day today. I’ve skipped the gym for a couple of days (I did take a nice walk outside on Saturday, the first day our weather gave any indication that it might actually be spring!) and since it’s not a set habit yet, I knew this morning it would be a chore just to lace my shoes, much less make it to the gym.
I’m dressed for the gym now and here I sit. Just had to check my email, Facebook and WP. It’s been an hour. Maybe it’s time to open the can and drink the stuff.
This kind of stuff just makes me crazy! A photo of three women who are promoting a new album and People makes the whole thing about ” . . . a thinner Carnie Wilson . . .”
Why aren’t they commenting on the anorexic Chynna Phillips??
Go ahead, please, draw attention to the fact that Carnie Wilson is heavier than the other two. And, by the link attached to the word “thinner” in the caption below, please point out that she’s now had two weight-related surgeries and is still struggling. Because it’s our right to know; her self-esteem can handle it.
It may sell magazines, and movies, and diet fads, but focusing on a woman’s physical appearance instead of the story is detrimental and demeaning to women — young girls, adult women, and in this case, Carnie Wilson.
Wilson Phillips is back! Wendy Wilson, Chynna Phillips and a thinner Carnie Wilson look picture-perfect Thursday while promoting their new album, Dedicated, at a New York Loehmann’s. ~ People magazine
Did you know there are 16 grams of sugar in one little Peep! I’d rather eat about half a Cadbury Creme Egg, or better yet 16 cups of Cheerios, either of which, if I figure right, also have 16 grams of sugar.
I haven’t posted here in a couple of days and I’d like to post something really brilliant and edgy. But just for today I’m going to share this from my other blog. It’s all about Peeps, those completely inedible but totally useful little creatures.
[If you’re reading this post expecting something new and exciting only to be disappointed by a rehash of something you’ve already read elsewhere, thank you for reading both my blogs and please forgive me, I’m lazy and a fame-whore.]
I don’t want to be accused of defaming Peeps, so let’s hear it for those delightfully squishy, sugary little puffs of marshmallow
crap joy. They do, after all, have more followers (and uses) than you and I put together.
I’m one of those people who doesn’t respond well to being told what to do: what I can and can’t do, what I should and shouldn’t do. Well, with some exceptions, which I’ll get into in a bit. For the time being, stick with me here.
I’m diabetic and have always had a sweet tooth but at my first nutritionist visit after being diagnosed, it was strongly suggested I not eat chocolate chip cookies or brownies again. Basically, ever. Please. I went right out and had one of each and have since developed a taste for doughnuts as well and I really don’t even like the sugary little pieces of fried dough.