Struggling

I’ve been struggling. Struggling with the commitment and motivation, and struggling with how to write this post.

What to say? I took this on and thought I was ready. But, something holds me back. I’ve given it a lot of thought in the past few days and I’m at a loss as to what the issue is here.

My cat makes more use of this than I do.
photo from fark.com

I began with the best of intentions and seemed off to a good start. I had one set back with the injury and have never gotten back on track. I’m skipping the exercise, despite some days getting up, dressed and ready to walk out the door. I’m also not eating well and have fallen into a 3:00 pm craving for something sweet. Worse yet, I’ve given into it more often than not — cookies, ice cream, or donuts (the latter of which I don’t even like).

Life goes on around me and I find plenty to keep me busy — all worthwhile pursuits. I’m not yet into watching the shopping channel or “Who’s Baby is it Anyway? (wouldn’t that be a great reality show), or even reruns of “Friends.” Nope, it’s not about TV; I’m occupying my time with “real” stuff.  And, I am still working on a writing project. So, I’m not a total goner yet. But all these things, good as they may be, are a kind of work avoidance. Or health and exercise avoidance, I guess.

I’m going to post a weekly update in the stats today but then I’m going to take a break and try to figure out what’s going on because it’s just too public to have to be admitting failings at this point!

There are an inordinate number of microscopic bug pictures on the internet! All gross. I hope I don't look like this one from animal-space.net

I’ve talked with a good friend, Katharine, who says she might be willing to co-author the blog, but she says she wants to write about my progress and throw in some tips and recipes and information in general. I’m not so sure about that — she’s brilliant and qualified to offer the latter, definitely, and she’s probably astute enough to offer the former as well. That’s scary. I told her I’d feel a bit like a bug under a microscope!

Meantime, until I figure this out, I’m taking my sweats and issues to a corner to ponder this some more. I may keep posting other stuff I find but I’m going to take the “personal” out of it for the time being.

For anyone else on a “get healthy” adventure, continued good luck. And, if you have any advice, feel free to jump right in.

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About emma

I'm a writer making my way through life and offering observations as I go. Old enough to know better but that doesn't stop me. View all posts by emma

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